Going too into detail on this one would probably be a mistake. The days of melodramatic sobbing into the world of cyberspace are long past and given the type of blog I'm shooting for here overshare is a constant worry. However, at times a kernel of wisdom is too important to be passed on. This is actually one I've learned and lived by for years now, but it was illustrated to me in a most surprising manner once again a about thirty minutes ago: Very few people or institutions are ever "on your side". Any rational being or entity is ultimately looking out for his/her/itself. This being the case rational beings or entities are only on your side so long as your interests align. Placing faith in someone or something because you have a gut feeling leaves you susceptible to a cooperate/defect game theoretical outcome in which the other party achieves their goals and you are completely shafted. This is not to say don't trust anybody or anything. Without some degree of trust society would just freeze up and be a terrible place to live. But within trust there is nuance. Similarly, the plans one may lay which rely on trusting a person or institution should be nuanced as well.
What's most unfortunate about the situation is that the more people protect themselves the less trust there is in total. An atmosphere of trust within society is a public good. For instance, two months ago I sold a guitar amplifyer. There was a potential problem with the amp and the gentleman who wished to purchase it had driven up from Miami (60-70 miles). To meet up again was no simple matter. He extended some trust thanks to an initial conciliatory gesture on my part which indicated I possessed a scruple or two and a promise made in good faith not to spend his money until everything had been straightened away. A few days later he called with a plausible story about the condition of the amp, we renegotiated a price both parties considered fair and walked away happy. A modicum of trust enabled David to have an amp of superior quality and saved me the hassle of taking it to a shop and trying to find another buyer. By each of us trusting one another the maximum collective utility of the sale/purchase of the amp was realized. Alas, situations like this are few and far between.
For an honest person there's only one way to deal with such a reality: simply be prepared to get screwed over. Until then operate in good faith, and work under the assumption that the other party will do the same. Hopefully they do to such an extent that eventually the other party's long term interest of continuing the relationship in good faith outweighs any short term misalignment of interest. And if not... well, at least you were ready for it.
What's most unfortunate about the situation is that the more people protect themselves the less trust there is in total. An atmosphere of trust within society is a public good. For instance, two months ago I sold a guitar amplifyer. There was a potential problem with the amp and the gentleman who wished to purchase it had driven up from Miami (60-70 miles). To meet up again was no simple matter. He extended some trust thanks to an initial conciliatory gesture on my part which indicated I possessed a scruple or two and a promise made in good faith not to spend his money until everything had been straightened away. A few days later he called with a plausible story about the condition of the amp, we renegotiated a price both parties considered fair and walked away happy. A modicum of trust enabled David to have an amp of superior quality and saved me the hassle of taking it to a shop and trying to find another buyer. By each of us trusting one another the maximum collective utility of the sale/purchase of the amp was realized. Alas, situations like this are few and far between.
For an honest person there's only one way to deal with such a reality: simply be prepared to get screwed over. Until then operate in good faith, and work under the assumption that the other party will do the same. Hopefully they do to such an extent that eventually the other party's long term interest of continuing the relationship in good faith outweighs any short term misalignment of interest. And if not... well, at least you were ready for it.
RSS Feed