"Another commonsense, conservative 'mama grizzly'".

This is how Sarah Palin described a political candidate. It would be nice to be able to say "what does that even mean?" Unfortunately, I get the gist of it. What's even more sad is that at this point most Americans are acquainted enough with Palinspeak to get it. And downright tragic is the fact that it resonates with a lot of people.

You see, this was not an offhand comment. This was prepared statement on facebook. Furthermore, it turns out that "mama grizzly" is a term Sarah Palin is using regularly now. Clearly many people simply eat it up (99% of whom have probably never seen a grizzly bear). But Palinisms make me sick, so I'll stop using those and start using some Nylonisms.

Let me tell ya... what a dumb fucking cunt. Considering all of the stupid shit that comes out of her lips, it's not surprising how much manages to go into her daughters' without a condom. If I had a nickel for every time Sarah Palin said something so fucking retarded I'd be able to get two hookers to dress up like the twat and eat each others' moose tacos before fighting to the death. The bitch is a walking pro-choice advertisement. Any time I hear Sarah Palin "speak" it drives home the belief that abortions should be free, tax deductable and if your last name is Palin, available up until the twenty fourth tri-mester. Here's the solution though: Sarah Bara-cooter should go down to the gulf with that $150,000 wardrobe the McCain campaign bought her, sop up as much oil as possible and then wear it to her next Obama effigy burning. Vile whore. Eat shit and die bitch.

Hey, that was pretty good! In deference to the master I will admit that it's not as catchy as "mama grizzly". Maybe I could just be a quarter term governor instead of a half term one.

To start off... facebook is gay. Every time I say something about facebook I have to preface it with that. If you go around talking about "Wow, did you see what so and so said on facebook?" you've pretty much transformed yourself into a 17 year old girl. Nonetheless, it's become a part of our lives and sometimes talking about facebook is unavoidable.

I just spent about a week in Washington DC checking out grad schools. Originally the city was kind of creeping me out. I couldn't figure out what the place was exactly. After a little bit it dawned on me that DC was a really big Tallahassee. Or more accurately, Tallahassee is just a tiny DC. They share many similarities. Capital, many transient residents, purpose built, easy to get out to beautiful places. But ultimately it's just a vibe they both have. The following is something I posted on facebook during a little exchange:

"Every place has an essence, a sort of intangible color. Nashville is as different from New York as West Palm Beach is from San Fransisco. It's not just because of what's housed in those cities. The local zeitgeist transforms into a mood and creates a distinct feeling that emanates from the people, the buildings, even the roads. It's inescapable, like the sickly sweet smell of the Ozarks. You may become accustomed to it, but it will always be there. The problem was that I couldn't seem to see DC's color. But on the mall today I realized the reason why I is because it's so close to that of Tallahassee, which is also the reason why I could see making this my home.

...ok, I just re-read that and I'm definitely turning it into a blog entry."

It was a rush that became known to me only, albeit immediately, after high school. After traveling with friends to Bonnaroo there was a whisper, a shout and finally a full throated scream. It was the road, calling me to experience it. I gave in. From Manchester Tennessee I drove to St. Louis. That arch (a damn cool sight as it appears and then disappears over the horizon) was deemed my point of no return. From there I drove to Colorado, and then onward to California. It was a transformative experience, and an addictive one. That trip to California was followed by many others to a host of destinations.

If you've never done so, at some point every American should get in their car and simply drive. You may already be well traveled, but trust me, it's different when you drive. Even when you're not trying to meet people, exceedingly interesting ones are unavoidable. The old trucker with the thick rimmed glasses in Arizona, or the midget named Billy in Dothan (who chain smoked 305s and managed to give me the most amazing shortcut via the shadiest directions). Watching the landscape change gradually from Florida brush pines, to the lush Appalachians, to the garbage known as Kansas, to the dramatic Rockies instills a sense of awe. And while an airplane will get your where you're going quickly it doesn't free you from the strictures of society. You're simply given a full body cavity search and then shuffled into this strange aluminum tube with the rest of the cattle. There's something about a road trip that makes you feel free.

Those experiences were about two chapters ago in my life. Soon, in fact very soon, I will be embarking on yet another chapter. But before that I will once more throw caution to the wind and revel in that magical freedom. This time it's underpinned by an actual purpose. Most unfortunately it's not quite the “throw a bunch of clothes in a garbage bag and drive to New Hampshire” of days past. Now it's actually exceedingly legitimate: checking out fancy grad schools. Yup, the freedom will be enjoyed only under the specter of once again enslaving myself.

But c'est la vie. This trip will soon be followed by international travel, and to non-western cultures at that. As amazing as traveling the States is, while there are distinct cultural differences from region to region, place to place, you always feel kind of at home. It's variations on a theme. That's a good thing in many respects. At the same time, even the best micro-brew will never be Grey Goose. However, no matter what may come in the future, the road trip will always occupy a special place in my heart. I truly hope that anyone who may read this will heed my advice and at some point be able to say the same.

For the first post in this fresh new blog I've decided to talk about a subject close to my heart: television.

Television really is an incredible medium. In my opinion it's the ultimate form of art in the modern age. The creators have so many opportunities to get their point across, it doesn't really matter what strictures they are bound by in terms of network rules and demographic targets etc. Ultimately they'll get their point across. More importantly though, everyone and everything involved will leave an imprint on the final product in some way. As I will discuss in a minute, in terms of a television show being art, one of the most important of these factors in the context in which it was produced.

If a stranger were to ask me about my taste in television, at the moment I'd probably say my favorite show is Mad Men. But it would be a lie. The only reason I would say that is because I wouldn't want them to look at me funny. In reality, my main squeeze at the moment is Bewitched. Ironically for some of the same reasons as Mad Men.

Anyone who's known me for a length of time will tell you I'm prone to following some weird shows. Dharma and Greg was at the top spot on the old Tivo list for a little while. But I'll admit when a show is stupid and I enjoy it in an abstract manner. At the same time, I'm a critical viewer and can really tell good television. In my analysis of different shows, there are a multitude of factors but in the end the most important aspect foor me is the characters, particularly character development. I want to get to know them, I want to come to like them and I want to feel at home in their reality. This is really one of the big reasons I would call Bewitched a great show and put it in the same league as the Simpsons. The first two seasons at any rate. During the first two seasons of Bewitched the character development was amazing. The writers really took into account the complexities of the situation they were putting these different people into and if you really watch closely it shows.

To be sure there are drawbacks. The laugh track is terribly intrusive. What's particularly unfortunate is that during the first two seasons the jokes were genuinely funny and they really didn't need it. The show isn't dynamic. By the second year they were married Darrin and Samantha would have worked out a lot of issues that were never resolved in the show. Endora (Samantha's mother) would have been banned from the house by Samantha because she was really ruining their lives. Darrin would have quite McMann and Tate because it was a terrible working environment, not only due to the constant prying into his private life, but mainly because his boss and supposed best friend threatened to fire him every other week. Inflexibility is one of the pitfalls of shows of the era. Sitcoms used to be very formulaic. Maybe it had something to do with 30+ episodes a season was the norm.

However, for the downsides of it being made in the 1960s there are upshots as well. What I find particularly fascinating about the show is the context in which it was made. Bewitched is a show about the most mixed of marriages... and happened to be made during the civil rights movement.  It's a show about a woman more or less learning her place in society... and happened to be made during a massive cultural upheaval. It's a show about choosing to earn what you have in life rather than simply "zapping" it into existence... and happened to be made smack in the middle of the cold war.

What have I learned from my procrastination and incidental case study? Well, for as much as I love Samantha, I hate the values of the writers. They placed themselves on the losing side of the culture revolution. Darrin with his acquiescence to work, only putting his family first on Christmas eve. Him coming home and getting angry with his wife for not doing slave work the hard way, and the fact that ultimately Samantha agrees with him on it! And then there's the lack of cultural sensitivity in regard to witches as a separate species. True Blood viewers should be well acquainted with that theme. The show's treatment of women and cultural insensitivity is best exemplified in the fourth(?) season. Apparently the witches have a system of governance, a monarchy. And apparently the queen is chosen in a similar way to the Dalai Lama. The difference is that the to-be head witch doesn't know until she's installed. Long story short, Samantha is crowned queen of the witches, the highest honor among her people. Accommodating to Darrin's needs as always, she promises only to do royal business after midnight.  But some of those attending court were mistakenly waking up Darrin. Furious he demanded she abdicate, in front of her subjects no less. Now from where I'm standing, while it's true that when something is earned it holds more meaning, witches are clearly a superior species. And not only that, but Samantha has become the head of the witches. Given that witches live for centuries, she'll be getting her cute little ass kissed for a lot longer than Darrin will be around.  In 2010 the equation is simple: her job is more important and is more consequential for her life than yours is for you. Get ready to spend some quality time with Tabatha. But in 1967, they had a blowout fight that ended up with Samantha agreeing to step down after her mandatory year was up. It's unlikely that these were stances held only by the writers of the show. Given that Bewitched was wildly popular these values had to be held by a large portion of the audience as well.

What's interesting though, is that upon re-watching some episodes of I Dream of Jeannie, it becomes apparent that Tony and Jeannie were placed on the opposite divide of the culture revolution. Both shows ripped on hippies, but Jeannie did so in a gentle way. Bewitched took it as a given that they were the bane of society. Roger Healy (third character in Jeannie) held a "mod party" at which Tony and Jeannie fit right in. Tony accepted some of Jeannie's culture (that of white, blonde haired Iraqis from 2000 years ago) and never really had a problem with her magic at base level. His issue was that she always botched it or used it at inappropriate times. He actually banked on it at times. While Darrin was pissed if his breakfast wasn't hand made Tony tried to keep Jeannie from actually cooking.

Tony's take on magic versus that of Darrin is another interesting reflection on the politics of the time. Tony too believed in hard work and building something with your own two hands. He was an astronaut and exemplary of American enthusiasm and a huge proponent of American exceptionalism. Anything less would have been unfitting. However, Tony would leverage Jeannie's abilities when it didn't mess with the big picture. Darrin on the other hand "forbid" magic in his house at all times... except of course when they ran out of gas in the pouring rain (it's all laissez faire until you get into deep shit). Thus we can see Tony as a reflection of Johnson's Great Society, while Darrin put a Goldwater sticker on his Corvair.

Oh yeah, before I wrap this up, that's another thing that strikes me about these shows. Both were direct competitors on different networks... and both were sponsored by GM. Darrin drove Chevrolets, Tony drove Pontiacs (specifically GTO convertibles). These were the days when General Motors had such a massive market share it's brands actually competed with one another. I could write for hours on that alone. 

So once again I find myself asking the eternal question: I Dream of Jeannie versus Bewitched. On their merit as a quality television show, there's no doubt that during it's first two seasons Bewitched faaaar outclassed Jeannie. After that Jeannie probably had the edge, but that's more a matter of personal taste. At that point both shows were pretty stupid. As to the likability of characters, again after the first two seasons Bewitched went downhill in a major way. Some of the characters still had their moments, but on the whole it was mostly Darrin screaming, Larry being a prick and Endora not being used to a fact of life. Jeannie had a cast of characters it was hard not to love. But then again, Samantha's just so damn sweet she makes up for the rest of them. Hotness of female lead: Jeannie's got the body, but Samantha's got the face. How well can I see myself as a part of their world? The Stephens' don't share my values, whereas Tony Nelson and his magical sex slave do.  At the same time, the Sopranos didn't share my values and I felt comfortable in their house.

So in the end it comes down to one thing: Tony drives a GTO, Darrin drives a Corvair.